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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22414726">Deepest, Most Embarrassing Secrets</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciferaBlack/pseuds/LuciferaBlack'>LuciferaBlack</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Lizzington Daddy Kink [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Blacklist (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, F/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, Very Secret Diary, Weirdness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:20:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,151</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22414726</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciferaBlack/pseuds/LuciferaBlack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Liz has been confiding in her private journal because her secrets are too embarrassing to share with anyone. Red discovers her journal and takes a peek. Things spiral into weirdness after that, yet they have no regrets.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elizabeth Keen &amp; Raymond Reddington, Elizabeth Keen/Raymond Reddington</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Lizzington Daddy Kink [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797448</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/20162641">Doomsday</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account">orphan_account</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>More weirdness! I like the idea of Red reading Lizzie's journal so much, I'm thinking of writing a different version of that scenario, perhaps a less weird one. </p><p>I was inspired by a fic from The Office (US) fandom because 1. It was a fun fic about Robert California (James Spader) and 2. It was about reading embarrassing smutty secrets.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> Liz and Red had just finished a mission and he took her back to her apartment. They sat on the couch together, but Liz became restless.</p><p> “Ugh. I feel grimy after being in that condemned building. I need a shower. Will you stay for a bit? I won’t be long.” Liz said.</p><p> “I’ll stay, sweetheart.” Red said.</p><p> “Okay. Be right back.” She said.</p><p> “No need to rush.” He said.</p><p> Liz smiled and went down the hall; she collected her pyjamas from the bedroom and headed into the bathroom for a nice hot shower. Red looked around the living room; he didn’t feel like watching TV, so he stood up and went to the bookshelf. He noticed a thin, untitled book that had a pink and grey marble-patterned cover. Red was intrigued, so he pulled it from its spot between two heavier books; when he opened it, he discovered lined pages with handwriting on them. Some key words stood out to him, such as ‘nightmare’, ‘stress’, ‘great time’, and so on. This was Lizzie’s private journal. The opportunity was too good to pass up; he always wanted and needed to know everything about Lizzie, so he flipped through it, reading excerpts.</p><p>
  <em> Tom was basically a figment of my imagination. I don’t know what to do…New trainings coming up, nervous about weapons training…Trying to work out more…</em>
</p><p> Red skipped ahead to almost the end of the journal.</p><p>
  <em> I thought now that I know R is my father, the dreams would stop, but they’re worse now. Every night. What is wrong with me? I’m too embarrassed to talk to a therapist about it.</em>
</p><p> This really piqued Red’s curiosity; what dreams? What was so embarrassing? He went back a few pages and his mouth dropped open.</p><p>
  <em> Keep dreaming that R pulls me against him. I can feel how hard he is. His eyes are intense. Somehow we end up naked on the floor. He’s on top, thrusting into me. Always wake up before I can orgasm. So frustrating!!!<br/>
</em>
  <em> Had the same dream about R. Went on for longer, more vivid. I could almost feel him inside me. Pyjama shorts were wet when I woke up and I had to satisfy myself before seeing him at work otherwise I’d be driven crazy. Obviously losing control.</em>
</p><p> Red flipped to the next page.</p><p>
  <em> Don’t know what to write. R is my dad. Changes everything yet nothing. Yep, it’s official. I’m insane.</em>
</p><p> Red furrowed his brow and flipped to the very last entry, which was dated yesterday.</p><p>
  <em> I know I’m crazy, but it seems like I’m getting even more horny for R now, of all times. I’m so messed up, if we did it, I’d probably end up calling out ‘Daddy’ when I orgasmed. That actually turns me on. What the fuck. Maybe I should see a therapist after all.</em>
</p><p> Red had never been more astonished in his life, but at the same time, he was aroused. He heard the water in the bathroom turn off, so he quickly closed the journal and slid it back into place on the shelf. He went over and sat on the couch, then he hastily grabbed the remote and turned the TV on as the bathroom door opened. Liz took her dirty laundry to the hamper in the bedroom, then she joined Red in the living room, still towelling her wet hair. He was idly channel-surfing.</p><p> “Feel better?” Red asked casually.</p><p> “Yeah. It was nice. You can shower here, if you want. I don’t think you got as dusty as I did but even so, feel free.” Liz said.</p><p> “Thanks, Lizzie. I would, but I don’t have anything else to wear.” He said.</p><p> “Oh.” She said.</p><p> Liz felt her cheeks warming up, so she escaped the situation by taking her damp hair towel back into the bathroom. Once she fanned her face to cool down a bit, she returned and sat beside Red. Red noticed that Lizzie was wearing pyjama shorts with a tank top; he wondered if those were the pyjama shorts she’d written about being wet after her dream. He cleared his throat to distract himself.</p><p> “Anything good on TV?” Liz asked, making conversation.</p><p> “I don’t think so. Perhaps you’d have more luck.” Red said, handing her the remote.</p><p> Liz curled up on the couch and leaned on the arm of it. She began flipping channels, then she felt Red watching her, so she glanced at him. He just smiled gently and then switched his attention back to the TV.</p><p> “Maybe I <em>will</em> have a shower. I can just wear my boxers, if that’s okay.” Red said.</p><p> “<em>Yeah</em>, that’s fine!” Liz said, trying too hard to sound casual.</p><p> Red nodded and then he got up and went down the hall into the bathroom. When Liz heard the shower start up, she rubbed her face and sighed frustratedly. She was incredibly attracted to Red and she was mad at herself. She couldn’t seem to help it. Liz knew that journalling helped her express pent up feelings and worries, so she quickly grabbed a pen and the journal from the bookshelf. She scribbled the date and made a new entry:</p><p>
  <em> R’s in the shower, possibly staying overnight. I want to make a move but that’s ridiculous. I know journalling is supposed to be non-judgmental but writing all this stuff about R, my dad, all the time is making me feel more crazy. Reading it is even worse. Maybe I’ll stop journalling.</em>
</p><p> Liz shook her head wryly, then she closed the journal and put it back along with the pen. She sat down and tried to regain her composure. However, when Red emerged from the hallway in his dark grey boxers, her composure vanished again. She started blushing and feeling warm between her legs. Liz tried not to look at him as he sat down next to her on the couch.</p><p> “I feel much better. Thanks.” Red said.</p><p> “Good. No problem.” Liz said, staring at the TV.</p><p> “I enjoyed your coconut milk shower products. They smell edible.” He said.</p><p> “Yeah.” She said.</p><p> Red truly wasn’t trying to make Lizzie hot and bothered; he felt kind of bad for how frustrated she was about her feelings for him. He took the throw blanket and wrapped up in it. Liz finally looked at Red.</p><p> “You look cute. And tired. Do you want to sleep? I’m ready for bed, too.” Liz said.</p><p> “Yes, I think it’s time to hit the hay.” Red said.</p><p> “Okay.” She said.</p><p> Liz stood up and watched Red lie down on the couch; he didn’t look very comfortable. She wanted to invite him to stay in her bed but that would be weird and it certainly wouldn’t help with her issues.</p><p> “Can I get you anything? Another cushion?” Liz asked.</p><p> “No thanks, Lizzie, I’m fine. Goodnight, sweetheart. I hope you have a good sleep.” Red said.</p><p> “You too. Night.” She said.</p><p> Liz turned the lamps off and then went down the hall into her bedroom. She got into bed and stretched out on her back, super comfy on the cushy bed. She thought about Red on her flat, angular modern couch and she felt bad. Liz got out of bed again and startled Red as she turned the light on.</p><p> “Come on, you’re sleeping in the big comfy bed. Up!” Liz said insistently.</p><p> Red chuckled and got up; he left the blanket on the couch and followed Lizzie. She turned the light off and led him into the bedroom, where she turned the lamp on to see better.</p><p> “Here. This is your side.” Liz said, patting the bed.</p><p> “Alright. Thanks. This looks much more comfortable than your couch. No offense.” Red said.</p><p> Liz laughed.</p><p> “None taken. That’s why I came and got you. I dunno why I chose that design.” She said wryly.</p><p> Red chuckled amusedly and they both got settled and cozy. Liz turned the lamp off.</p><p> “Night…Daddy.” Liz said, trying it out.</p><p> “…Night, sweetheart.” Red said in surprise.</p><p> They both laid there, staring wide-eyed at the dark ceiling, feeling a bit awkward. After a while, they got tired again and relaxed. Red turned away from Lizzie, not wanting to accidentally spoon her in his sleep. Liz also turned away from Red, trying to keep her distance so she wouldn’t do anything crazy during her dreams.</p><p>(To Be Continued...)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> As expected, Liz dreamt of Red again. They were on a soft rug on the floor, and he was on top of her. He moaned next to her ear and kissed her neck as his cock slowly glided in and out.</p><p> In the early morning, Red awoke suddenly for some reason. He looked around in the dawn light and saw Lizzie sprawled on her back next to him. She appeared to be in a fitful sleep; she moaned and turned her head, and her one knee went up higher at her side. The sheet had been pushed down to the bottom of the bed. Lizzie moaned again and writhed sexually, and Red couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was dreaming about him again. Red was becoming thoroughly aroused as he watched Lizzie; she was yearning for him and he remembered from her journal that she’d always wake up unsatisfied.</p><p> Red discreetly moved closer to Lizzie and lightly put his hand on her inner thigh; she hummed in pleasure and turned her head slightly, but didn’t wake up. He slid his hand upwards, massaged the crease of her thigh, then he gently cupped her pubic area.</p><p> “Mm…” Liz whimpered.</p><p> Liz made a seamless transition from her sexual dream to the stimulation she was getting between her legs. She was <em>finally</em> going to get satisfaction after the dream.</p><p> “Lizzie…let me satisfy you…” Red said quietly in her ear.</p><p> Liz moaned and ground her hips, working her way towards an orgasm. She was slowly becoming aware that her dream was now a reality, and that Red was pleasuring her. It felt too good to stop it, despite it being wrong. Red was astonished when Lizzie opened her eyes a little bit to look at him; she was awake now and still moving against his hand. She was climbing to the peak as he moved his fingers on the damp crotch of her pyjama shorts. She suddenly gasped and panted as she squirmed, riding the waves of her orgasm. Liz sighed in satisfaction but then she blushed and struggled to make eye contact with Red.</p><p> “I read your journal.” Red confessed.</p><p> “Oh god.” She said, then she pulled her pillow over her face to hide.</p><p> “Lizzie…sweetheart…” He said gently.</p><p> Red smiled as Lizzie shyly peeked at him from overtop the pillow.</p><p> “I think it’s sexy…and <em>kinky</em> as <em>hell</em>…” Red said approvingly.</p><p> Liz slowly moved her pillow out of the way.</p><p> “But it’s wrong.” Liz said, almost pouting; she wished things were different.</p><p> “It’s okay, baby…” He said quietly.</p><p> Red hesitantly touched Lizzie between her thighs again; she closed her eyes and moaned in pleasure.</p><p> “Red…” Liz said softly; she wasn’t really trying to resist. She wanted to be convinced. </p><p> “Call me Daddy. I know you want to.” Red said.</p><p> “Mmm…Daddy…” She purred; she was embarrassed by how much it aroused her.</p><p> “Ohh…good girl.” Red said; he was very aroused, too, but less embarrassed.</p><p> Liz barely managed to make eye contact.</p><p> “I’m the one with the daddy issues…why does it turn you on?” Liz asked.</p><p> “Because I’m weird.” Red said with a smirk, then he slid his hand down the front of her pyjama shorts.</p><p> “<em>Ohh</em>…” Liz moaned breathily as his warm fingers massaged her sensitive flesh.</p><p> Red relished the feel of Lizzie’s soft, wet, delicate flesh against his fingers. He craved more intimacy, so he nuzzled into her neck and slowly kissed a ticklish spot, making her giggle slightly.</p><p> “You’re giving me goosebumps…” Liz purred.</p><p> "Mm.” Red rumbled, continuing his efforts.</p><p> “Why do we want each other so bad?” She asked, still in disbelief that they were actually doing this.</p><p> Red stopped kissing Lizzie’s neck and looked at her.</p><p> “Do you have to analyze it right now?” Red asked amusedly.</p><p> Liz giggled.</p><p> “No, I guess not.” She said.</p><p> Red went back to exploring her collarbone and chest with his lips.</p><p> “Although…” She said.</p><p> Red paused and looked at her again, smirking in amusement.</p><p> “It’s just strange that we both feel it. I thought I was the only crazy one with these…desires, but it turns out you’re the same.” She said.</p><p> “Yes, it’s very strange…” He said halfheartedly, then he lifted her tank top to kiss her tummy.</p><p> Red went lower and nuzzled her hip, then he kissed her inner thigh while taking in her arousing scent.</p><p> “I mean what are the odds? Like fifty-billion to one that we’d both feel like this?” Liz asked.</p><p> “Mm…billions…” Red murmured distractedly as he grasped her hips; he kissed her pubic bone through her shorts.</p><p> “Do you think—” She said.</p><p> Red rose up and gave her a look, although it was a humorous one.</p><p> “Lizzie.” He said.</p><p> She gave him a coy look.</p><p> “Sorry, Daddy.” She said sweetly.</p><p> “It’s alright, sweetheart. We don’t have to go any further if it’s too weird.” He said.</p><p> “No, I <em>want</em> to, I’m just curious about our feelings.” She said.</p><p> Liz sat up and took her tank top off; Red gazed admiringly at her breasts for several moments, looking tempted to touch them. His erection started to stand out, tenting his boxers. She pulled her pyjama shorts down and tossed them aside. Red pulled his underwear down and took it off, then he tossed it on the floor beside the bed. Lizzie blushed as she eyed his erection, but despite her shyness, she looked positively predatory. She knelt on the bed and put her hands on his chest, then she gently pushed him so that he laid on his back.</p><p> “I’ve been craving you for so long.” Liz said breathily as she straddled him.</p><p> Red could hardly believe this was happening, but it was fantastic. He wasn’t even sure what to say. Lizzie pressed her moist flesh against his shaft and began humping him.</p><p> “Ohh, Lizzie…my <em>god</em>, you feel…so good.” Red said intensely.</p><p> “Mmm yes, Daddy.” She purred.</p><p> Liz could easily climax from the feel of his warm, hard cock rubbing against her clit. She was beyond ready and Red’s eyes were closed in pleasure, his brow furrowed with yearning. She eagerly lifted up and guided his tip to her opening; she paused to enjoy that sensation, then she pushed down onto his cock. Red groaned breathily and clutched her thighs. He was incredibly thrilled to feel Lizzie’s warm silky walls surrounding him, gradually going down to cover most of his shaft. She was snug around him and it felt so good as she gently moved up and down. Liz had never been this gratified before; she <em>finally</em> had Red inside her after pining for him all this time. As she moved, the sensation of his cock rubbing her walls was exquisite. She whimpered and almost reached the peak already. Liz needed satisfaction and so did Red; she began going up and down in longer, harder, faster movements.</p><p> Red lightly held Lizzie’s hips as she started enthusiastically riding him. He let her dictate the rhythm, but he helped her by lifting and pulling some of her weight; he also bucked his hips to thrust into her. She was getting quite vocal in her immense pleasure, and he loved hearing her. Lizzie’s expression was determined and blissful as she strived for satisfaction.</p><p> “Mm! Daddy…” Liz mewled.</p><p> This had the strongest effect on both of them, pushing them closer to the edge.</p><p> “<em>Yes</em>, baby...ohh fuck…” Red said breathlessly.</p><p> They found the perfect quick rhythm together and they were very wet, so Red was slipping in and out of Lizzie. She whined while he grunted, and they worked themselves into a frenzy. Liz panted and then tensed up on Red, staying still while he continued thrusting. She whimpered intensely as she reached her orgasm, feeling herself clamping down on Red’s cock over and over again with the waves of pleasure. Red bucked up, thrusting into Lizzie’s very tight, tense walls, then he groaned and started coming. His cock throbbed inside her as he spurted and gushed heavily. Liz was so gratified to have Red coming inside her, she had a second, smaller orgasm from the sheer thrill of it. After seemingly endless waves of ecstasy, Liz sighed and relaxed, resting her weight on Red. They looked at each other in satisfaction and surprise.</p><p> Red smiled amusedly when Lizzie suddenly shivered on him and then apparently became turned on again. She seemed to be enthralled with the slipperiness inside her. He tested his theory and ground his hips, causing more of the wet feeling. Lizzie moaned and closed her eyes while her fingers clutched at his abdomen. He stopped and smirked slightly.</p><p> “Don’t tease me, Daddy.” She whined.</p><p> “Poor baby. Is this better?” He said indulgently as he held her down on him and moved against her.</p><p> “Mm…yes…” She said breathily.</p><p> Red was perfectly happy to continue pleasuring Lizzie; about a minute later, she tensed up and squeezed him with her thighs as she orgasmed a third time. As Liz relaxed, now completely satisfied, she bent forward and kissed Red on the lips, cheek and neck. She nuzzled his jaw and planted kisses there as he rubbed her back. Eventually, she got off him and slumped down onto the bed. They were quiet for a little while, recuperating and thinking about what just happened. Red turned towards Lizzie.</p><p> “Did this cure your issues?” Red asked.</p><p> “Hmm. Let me see…Nope.” Liz said humorously.</p><p> They both chuckled.</p><p> “I have to admit that I’m pleased. It means we can continue to be weird together.” Red said.</p><p> “Yeah. Me too, actually. I wanted nothing more than to be normal and to get rid of these feelings…but that was before I knew you were messed up like me.” Liz said.</p><p> “Hah. Thanks, Lizzie.” He said wryly.</p><p> “You’re welcome.” She said, smirking.</p><p> “…Are you still going to journal?” He asked.</p><p> “No. I’d be writing about the stuff we do…I’m not putting that on paper, where someone could find it and read it.” She said, then she poked his chest.</p><p> “Sorry. I was curious.” He said sheepishly.</p><p> “It’s okay. If you hadn’t read it, this wouldn’t have happened. No regrets.” She said, then she snuggled up to him.</p><p> “No, no regrets, sweetheart.” He said as he embraced her.</p><p> They were almost asleep again.</p><p> “I should probably burn the journal.” Liz said, realizing it already had embarrassing secrets in it.</p><p> Red chuckled.</p><p> “Alright, baby.” Red said.</p><p> They went back to sleep for a while and spent most of the day cuddling, talking and making love.</p><p>
  <b> The End</b>
</p>
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